Spirit Has Got This: Musings on Fatherhood
It’s amazing to me that I’m a father. I feel like a child raising a child!
It’s one of the things we seem to take for granted as part of our way of life - we have children….yet there’s no manual. No clear directions on what to do.
I remember when Adya gave birth at home and the midwives left. We were left with this tiny creature and we both looked at each other wondering,
‘Ok we planned for everything except this part…
What do we do now?’
That night, we took turns sleeping whilst the other held our daughter because she felt so fragile, so precious. It took a while to realise, Spirit has got this.
The Incredible Order in Allowing
Watching my daughter grow up to almost 3 now, has shown me an incredible order in all life - it’s just hard to see till later on.
I remember we were advised to teach her 50 words by a certain ‘milestone’ or she wouldn’t learn to speak well. We resisted it, and I’m glad. She speaks perfectly, in fact…maybe a little too much 😂
We only taught her to say Mummy and Daddy and everything else has been an incredible mirroring of reality that she naturally has within her. This allowing has also allowed her to choose her own way of exploring the world.
I love education, yet I feel we need to radically reframe how we use it.
Teaching can happen in so many ways, and some of the most powerful is when we allow and guide, rather than show and tell.
Soul Blueprints
It’s incredible witnessing a personality emerge with traits that are so unique it can only come from another place. It seems our Soul has distinct personality traits (and flaws) it wishes to come into the world with. Many so-called flaws are of course caused by enviroment (parents, school, friends, society) yet it’s so clear some are pre-ordained as part of the soul blueprint.
I feel blessed that my spirituality has helped me a great deal in accepting my own flaws as being human. I also see that my daughter chose me, not just for my strengths but for those very flaws too.
We each choose our families for many reasons and without the contrast we cannot grow. I think it enables a much more authentic presence because we’re not trying to be someone we’re not.
I used to have this with relationships, putting on a mask because I thought this is who they want, this is who they will love. Even if they do, underneath the mask you know they don’t really know you and it deepens a void of self-love.
The Myth of Perfect Parenting
There is alot of information out there on how to raise children consciously and it’s incredibly interesting. I’m learning so much. Yet I also found, like so many things during these times, that it can create more stress for parents in trying to be perfect.
We seem to have this entwined within our desire to better ourselves across all of spiritual growth and healing. We love to go to extremes and often pendulum swing to the other side and embark on a journey thinking we desire absolute perfection.
Yet this can lead to a form of control, and of course unnecessary added stress.
We cannot help as parents ocassionally being on the phone for work or to respond to someone, or allow children to watch TV because we need to get some chores done. If anything being a parent has made me realise just how much parents need support.
The same is true in all life. You are still spiritual if you have a drink or swear or get angry.
Your spirituality isn’t a reward system based on behaviour. It belongs to you and as we all know the Universe cannot or will not ever judge.
It Takes a Village
There is a saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”.
Our society has changed so much. Back in the day, children would be raised by the greater family or at least have the support. Today, especially in Western countries, unless we have grandparents helping, most are on their own, trying to raise their kids…and work..and rest?
What’s “rest”?
It’s a tough adjustment and its manoeuvring many to begin to congregate together to begin supporting in a new way. Yet I also feel this meme of the tired parent is something I will always challenge. It’s time to change all the stories.
We’re living in a time where consciousness is raising so rapidly that the way we understand children and upbringing is evolving in real-time. What was known before cannot really be passed down that well because in this generation we understand so much more.
Still, we cannot blame backwards either because there is only a certain level of understanding by the current consciousness matrix. When my daughter is of age and if she chooses to have kids, I have no doubt my words of advice may well be laughed at! Yet that is the cycle of life.
No special bow of completed wisdom attached to this piece, just thought I’d share some musings :)
Raising Your Vibration
A couple of weeks ago I launched a free 21 day challenge - if you didn’t join, you’re welcome to here: 21 Day Raising Your Vibration Challenge
Thank you all for your amazing comments as you’re progressing through the challenge. It is both inspiring to me and others. Keep it coming. Something incredibly powerful happens when we bring in a positive element into our day for an extended period. Just 15 minutes can be enough! Transformation is always free and available.
Much love
Vaz